My husband loves soccer. He played from kindergarten right through school. He even plays on the rec teams at our current base (when scheduling works out). He would actually rather watch a soccer game than a traditional football game. This was crazy to me since I LOVE football games, traditional college football games not professional. But I never realized how much he loved soccer until he told me about an experience he had in high school.
During a high school game, Nick was playing in a game against one of the other area high schools. Just the typical high school game. Nick was going after the ball which is exactly what he was supposed to do when the player from the opposing team tried passing the ball across the field. Nick was in the wrong place at the wrong time and got the soccer ball right in the eye. He tried to shake off the impact and continue playing in the game. He realized that there was something wrong with his sight. He exits the field and makes the trip to the emergency room.
He came to school the next sporting an awesome black eye patch. His teammates and friends gathered to find out what exactly was wrong with him. After reassuring them that he was ok, they asked why he had to wear the eye patch. He calmly replied “Oh the ball detached my rectum so I just have to wear this until it heals.” Of course, laughter ensues. My husband had just told a group of high school guys that a ball had detached his butt hole. Poor guy just couldn’t understand why everyone was laughing at his pain. He had actually hurt himself and had to wear an eye patch. He was starting to get a little upset when one of his friends finally stopped laughing long enough to ask “Are you sure you detached your RECTUM?” Nick responded “Yeah. The ball hit me so hard in the face that it just knocked my rectum lose.” Yep! More laughter. Someone finally said “Don’t you mean retina? Because the retina is in your eye and rectum is your butt hole.” Nick is instantly embarrassed. How had he said something so stupid? But he had said them and he didn’t get to live them down. Even the coach said that he “Sacrificed so much for the game” at the year end awards ceremony. And poor guy, even now I will frequently bring up this embarrassing story from his past and laugh hysterically.