Hale House Adventures

I have been away from my blog for much longer than I ever anticipated. But it was a needed (and forced break). As I stated in previous posts I have recently had a huge fight with vertigo. Not like regular “I’m dizzy” vertigo, like “I pass out but don’t lose consciousness” vertigo. The debilitating type of vertigo. I assumed it dealt with my recent weight loss and dropping blood pressure. This had a small amount to do with it but not the cause. The next path we explored for the cause of the vertigo was my depression medication. Vertigo was a rare side effect of my medication so I had to change this. This sounds like such an easy thing, just change which pill you take. Oh, no!! It is far from simple. I had to gradually step down the medication to “detox” myself so I wouldn’t go through withdrawal. (Seriously what kind of medicine did they have me on). Then I had to start on my new medication. This took weeks of much deeper depression than normal. I was in no condition to be carrying on conversations much less making blog posts. All my positive energy was focused on being happy around my family so that my kids wouldn’t see mom in such a negative way. My kids will eventually know my fight but I don’t want their earliest memories of mommy being my depression.

We switched my medication and my depression is under much better control. My vertigo however was still raging. I was taking anti-vertigo medication 5 times a day. I might as well have been taking 5 sleeping pills a day considering how tired I was. So sleep, basic mom functions, vertigo, sleep, repeat. It was no way to live. I told Nick “I feel like I’m losing my life. Not that I’m dying, just that I’m losing everything about me that is ME. I’m becoming a shell.” My body was in a forced hiatus. I couldn’t continue to live like this so I went searching for more answers.

I found another doctor who was willing to chase this and explore more options. I decided I needed a new doctor when my previous one said “You know WebMD can’t practice medicine.” after I told him I had been researching. I told him I didn’t care how much he laughed at me as long as he helped me. He gave me a refill of my medication. I was done. So I switched doctors and was put through a battery of specialized tests. Eureka, we found an answer. I have Meniere’s Disease. It is a rare condition that makes the inner ear sick. The inner ear controls the balance of a person. When the inner ear is sick, it can’t control your balance. It is uncontrollable. And every vertigo attack permanently damages my hearing. So lucky me. I have two rare(ish) conditions with Celiac and Meniere’s. Why?! Why can’t I be so lucky with the lottery?

As much as I fought against this Meniere’s diagnosis, I had some answers. I had a way to fight to get my life back. And I had a specialist who knew how to help me. My new specialist took me off the medication that was making me so sleepy. She replaced it with one pill proven to help with Meniere’s. I was skeptical but was willing to try just about anything. The first day was good but I was still getting the other medication out of my system. The second day I was much better but still scared to leave the house. I was terrified of having an attack while out with the kids. You can’t protect your children when you can’t get off the ground. Every day was better. I began to feel like myself again. I went from 5 pills a day to prevent vertigo attacks to taking my emergency pill once in a month. I was finally getting my life back. As much as I hate to think that I have this and will fight it the rest of my life I have always felt that as long as I know what I’m fighting and how to fight it, I can do it.

I am getting my life back. It will be a long journey. It is tedious at times. How can I get dizzy standing up too fast? Why can’t I drink caffeine? Why is salt making me dizzy? Seriously, why can’t I just be normal. But God never planned on me being normal. He had different plans that I have no knowledge of. So I will be faithful. I will fight the good fight. I will cuss (yes, I just mentioned God and said that I cuss) and rail and whine, but I will fight. I will live the best life I have.