After the devastating news of my water breaking at 26 weeks I was in complete shock. I was terrified and numb at the same time. I was wracking my brain trying to figure out what I had done wrong. How was this happening to our miracle? What did I need to do to make this work? And that was what I eventually focused on. What did I have to do to make sure she is ok?
I went to the hospital that knew I was coming. They didn’t even realize I was pregnant when I walked in. As a big woman and only 26 weeks, I wasn’t really showing. And they didn’t have a room for me, so I was directed to the nearest waiting room so they could figure out where to put me. It was then I had to make the only 2 phone calls I could function for. I called Nick and told him what was happening. And like normal, he was calm and reassuring. He laid out what exactly he had to do and how long it would be before he got to the hospital. He always has been the calm in the relationship. He is the go with the flow type and that has always been crucial for my type A personality. Next I called my mom. She and I have always had a close relationship. And she has always been the one that I have allowed myself to be vulnerable around so I was actually dreading the call. When she answered the phone it was a happy countenance because she knew I was going to see the dr and Zoey. But when I told her “I’m in the hospital, my water is broken, and Zoey can come at any time.” There was nothing but silence, a true rarity for us. When next she spoke, I heard the tears. I heard how she was trying to hide the tears in her effort to reassure me it was going to be ok. Even when neither one of us had a clue what the next hour would hold for us. I don’t remember most of the conversation other than “Its going to be ok” repeated several times. I got off the hone with her and retreated into the numbness. I could function there. I found out later that she had told my dad, which I knew she would, and I was eternally thankful that I didn’t have to explain it to anyone else. I couldn’t do. And my dad, being the poppa bear that he is, went home and quickly grabbed a bag of clothes ready to make the 13 hour drive to see us. They set off for Pensacola stopping to sleep along the way because they knew that they wouldn’t be able to actually get in to see us. They also thought they would get to meet Zoey when they got there.
The hospital finally got a room for me. And about the time I got in Nick got there. I’m still not even really sure why they got me a room. The dr came in and told me right away they were calling a Medivac helicopter because they couldn’t handle my case there. The closest location was 3 hours away in Pensacola. But of course the night wasn’t working with me. We had severe storms come through and the helicopter couldn’t come. So I was transported 3 hours by ambulance. 3 hours with a stranger. 3 hours imagining the worst. 3 hours pregnant and having to go to the bathroom. I wanted the numbness to come back but it wouldn’t so I started planning things that I would do for and with Zoey when she was born. I started making jokes. I had lapses of tears but I was determined that I was ONLY going to think and say positive about Zoey and what was happening. And I honestly believe that the positivity got us through the next 11 weeks.